Recent. What's New In an Old Kind of Way
Little counter reminding the world: How long since Spurs finished above Arsenal in the league? (How is this still running in 2016?!)
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August 9th 2004. The next part of Nici's guide to ancient knowledge is available and looks at the possibility that aircraft were invented long before either the Wright brothers or Leonardo da Vinci. Read it.
July 20th 2004. My second show on CMP Radio will be broadcast at 7:00 this morning, that's 8:00 in Europe and 2:00 on the East Coast of the US. Today's show is The Alternative 90s Mix, featuring tracks by Mansun, Elastica, Tricky, Primal Scream and more. It will be repeated at the same time on Friday July 23rd. More details.
July 18th 2004. Now publishing the details of all avenged leechers so those who steal files - beware...
July 17th 2004. We are now looking to deal direct with potential advertisers. Full details.
July 16th 2004. Magic: The Gathering Card List added.
July 13th 2004. This morning saw my first slot on CMP Radio, which is an online radio station giving virtually anyone a chance to present their own show. Tone's Morning Moshfest was broadcast live at 0800 BST. Full details of the show can be found here.
April 24th 2004
Champions! Congratulations to Arsenal FC for winning their 13th league title today!
March 24th 2004
OK stop hassling us - we're doing it alright? What with the carrot of Google AdSense eligibility hanging in front of our noses we're working on the site RIGHT NOW OK? Lord knows we deserve a little moola for our efforts. So go ahead and crack that whip a little harder why don't you?
March 5th 2004
Site overhaul now in progress. Out with the slapdash design and in with a simpler, less-cluttered layout. Apologies in advance for any 'wonky' bits while we improve. Also, we've been getting over 700 visits for each of the last 3 days and steadily increasing, so it looks like it's just in time. Thanks to everyone who's taken time to write in, no matter what the subject. See you after the re-design!
February 19th 2004
Hello again it's me, Tone, your lovable host. How you doing? It seems there are some very stupid people out there in InterwebLand ("No you don't say!"). People that included 250KB images on some mindless forum that then gets viewed 1,000 times in a day stealing 250MB of bandwidth in a day and don't think we'd notice. People that use a 640x480 JPG hosted on this site as an avatar for yet another mindless forum. So that every time somebody reads a post by said individual, 2atoms.com has to serve up a 30KB image. Then there's the newbie leecher, stealing content for the first time, hot-linking massive images totaling 1MB AND stealing the accompanying text as well. How can I tell they're newbie leechers? Easy. When I email them and warn them that if they don't stop hot-linking our files I will take action and they will be severely embarrassed by that action they do nothing. Squat. So after I replace one of the hot-linked images with another of a, shall-we-say, pornographic nature, said hot-linker doesn't notice and continues to be proud of their trite single-page free "website" on Xanga. Such as this one. Take a look:
On another note (C# perhaps or a nice D), some more Worst of the Web reader submissions have arrived - hoorah!
February 12th 2004
Busy, busy, busy! I guess the site re-vamp should be done in time for our first anniversary. Valentine's Day eh? What a load of bollocks that is. I mean don't get me wrong - I've done some terribly romantic deeds in my time but all this overt faux-romanticism makes my stomach turn. Sheep, the lot a ya's...
February 10th 2004
Yesterday 2atoms.com had its 100,000th visitor in less than a year! Nice.
January 11th 2004
OK, OK, I know this site is a God-damn mess! But what with time being a constraint and everything it is and always will be "content first and design later". Content Management software is a no-no because I find that it tends to be an excuse for sites with NO content strangely enough. When I can scrape together some free time away from making a living sitting at this computer all day I'll...spend some more time sitting at this computer all day but fixing the design ;) Tone
December 31st 2003
Time for one last piece of feedback before the old man pops round the back with his piece of coal what eh? This gem is from "Josef" and he seems to be highly-skilled in the sarcastic art...not!
December 18th 2003
Sign the David "Rocky" Rocastle Testemonial Petition. Tone
November 28th 2003
Added a new version of the Crazy Spinning Circles optical illusion - wow! Tone
November 22nd 2003
Erm, it seems England have won the Rugby World Cup. For those of you unacquainted with Rugby, it's American Football without the body armour. Some people are saying this is as important as England winning the Football World Cup in 1966. For those of you unacquainted with Football, it's American Football with a round ball and not a pointy one. And without the body armour of course. And you can't pick up the ball, you just use your feet. Except the Goalkeeper. And goals are rarer.
November 20th 2003
Blog update, today's topic: When sport marches into history - a Shining Sporting Memory from 1989, Liverpool 0 - 2 Arsenal.November 19th 2003
Received an interesting email from Charles T. Low regarding the "Impossible Triangle" illusion in our Weird section. To reveal what he says would be to give the secret of the illusion away, but maybe you're smart enough to figure it out for yourself? Tone
October 30th 2003
Blog update, today's topics: MADGE, remote-control bladders and women in Serie A. Tone
October 28th 2003
October 26th 2003
News: 50,000 unique visits to 2atoms.com! That's right, this morning we welcomed our 50,000th visitor since our rebirth in March. Thanks for all your visits, comments and submissions - keep 'em coming!October 24th 2003
Blog update, today's topics: Microsoft's leak-proof emails and Tony mashes the car.
Feedback has some nice mail for a change. Ooh I know we've been bad with the updates lately - you have permission to virtually spank us with a cat-o-nine-tails. Been very busy in the shop - got to earn a living somehow you know?
Play Section has a new game added: Celebrity Shoot. Launch famous heads at famous targets and if you miss then you get a funny animation. Oh look, just see for yourself OK?October 19th 2003
Blog update, today's topics: One-word review of Nokia's N-GAGE.October 18th 2003
Blog update, today's topics: Banksy and guerilla art.October 15th 2003
Blog update, today's topics: Arsenal top Fair Play League.October 14th 2003
Blog update, today's topics: Laser-powered planes!October 10th 2003
Blog update, today's topics: emode.com's IQ test.October 8th 2003
Blog update, today's topics: Safeway's useless savers.October 6th 2003
Blog update, today's topics: Male contraception.
October 2nd 2003
Stats page for September available It was a very busy month for lil' old 2atoms!
September 24th 2003
Presenting a new legend amongst felines. Is it a cat? Is it a bag? No it's StuporCat!
More Worst of the Web for your perverse delectation, this time the site in our sights is ... the City Wrestling Federation!September 17th 2003
Currently making section menus that sit on the right-hand side of the page. Please report any errors you encounter via the contact page - thanks. Tone
September 17th 2003
New Chat Room. Finally got rid of that manky old java chat and installed phpMyChat. Nici and I may put in an appearance at weekends.
September 11th 2003
In Memoriam. Our thoughts are with the families and friends of those who passed away on that fateful day 2 years ago.
September 5th 2003
Partner Websites Needed. Do you run a similar website to 2atoms or at least one of our sections? We are looking for established or up-and-coming sites to trade banners and links with. We can offer 30,000 banner impressions per month and would expect a similar amount.
September 3rd 2003
Putting the Boot In. Is it time to think again for the Premiership's angry mob?
August 31st 2003
Manchester City 1 - 2 Arsenal. Ljungberg saves Lauren's blushes as the Gunners 100% record continues, read our match report by Al.
August 29th 2003
Well, the Worst of the Web section seems to be getting very popular of late, so I reckon it's due an update. Today's addition is WATCH (World Against Toys Causing Harm).
August 19th 2003
David Blaine announced his latest stunt today, to be brutally murdered with a machete, his body burned and blasted into outer space, there to be toasted by gamma radiation for 3 weeks, to be returned to earth through free fall, landing head first onto a spike atop Nelson's Column in Trafalgar Square, London. " The only restrictions on our capacity to astonish ourselves and each other are imposed by our own minds " says David.
The innovative, if not slightly unhinged magician is still recovering from his last trick in which he slammed the front door on his big toe, really really hard, over 100 times an hour for 48 hours.
If he survives what is his first stunt outside of his native USA, David plans an even more spectacular marvel to round off the year. He plans to dig to the centre of the earth's core using only his fingernails and there to lay on the inner molten core for 2 years whilst Al-Qaeda terrorists fly planes into his face, singing very bad renditions of all of Boyzone's greatest hits. Commenting on this somewhat dangerous plan, David had this to say:
" I am indestructible, do you not realise this by now puny Earthlings? What does it take for me to prove my worthiness to you?! Bow down before me and worship your one true God. "August 17th 2003
Arsenal 2 - 1 Everton match report by ArsenalPants.August 15th 2003
Power cuts hit North America. Several US and Canadian cities have been hit by power outages simultaneously. More...August 14th 2003
Sorry about the lack of updates in the last week, but we've been moving house. We're all done now, the site's still up and hey - we've reached 20,000 unique visits. Not bad for 5 months.August 4th 2003
Weird News Section Launched - Bringing you the latest offbeat news headlines from around the world.
July 31st 2003
Test Your Rock Knowledge with the First 2atoms Rock Quiz! 53KB / MS Excel Format. Your score to beat is: 70% (Dev). Version 1.02.July 29th 2003
More Amazing Optical Illusions Added including the best illusion I have ever seen!July 26th 2003
The Star Wars Kid shows off his flash Darth Maul moves. Cringe with embarrassment. The full video.July 25th 2003
Chuckchippie news.July 21st 2003
David Beckham Joke added for no real reason to Arsenal section.July 21st 2003
OutRun 2 Arcade Game Announced. Stop Press! There is going to be an OutRun 2 arcade game. SEGA, bless your gaming heart!July 11th 2003
Lil' Miss Information tells you all you need to know about, like, America.July 10th 2003
Blog up! Yay - another outlet for Tone's demented rants. A weblog is an online journal, in case you didn't know.July 4th 2003
Lil' Miss Information tells you all you need to know about, like, Science. By Nici.June 25th 2003
Magic Moron of the week is: chuckchippie. " Chuck says, if losing - offer to adjourn the game! ". Nice one chippie...June 16th 2003
Retro Games Shop Open! - The 2 Atoms Retro Emporium has opened at shop.2atoms.com. Dealing in classic, retro and hard to find games, console and computers. We also do mobile phone accessories. No, seriously. That's not very retro is it?
Optical Illusions Section Launched - Some interesting images to get your mind working.
June 1st 2003.
Video Games ARE Good for You - Claims a study in American science journal Nature! I cannot believe there are STILL people out there who believe that computer games are a "Bad Thing" and that all gamers are geeks. Part of the reason for the explosion in the games industry in the last decade has been the demystifying of computer games and the production of titles for the mainstream - ordinary, sociable kids and young adults.
Of course using your reflexes, survival instincts and initiative in a virtual world improves those skills in the real world, in the same way that working out in a gym makes you fitter to cope with life's physical strains.
I have to add one bad point though. My driving (in the real world that is) has definitely taken a turn for the worse recently since playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City for a whole week...
Published on BBC Talking Point / 29th May 2003.
The 2atoms Magic Online Suicide Challenge - How fast can you lose a game of Magic? No conceding - just damage...?
PinWheel - An amazing optical illusion! 21st May 2003.
Sesame Street Breaks Iraqi POWs - BBC news reports that the US are using "culturally offensive" music to break down the will of captured Iraqi prisoners of war. Top tracks allegedly, are Metallica's "Enter_the Sandman" and the Sesame_Street_Theme Tune... 20th May 2003.
Ancient Mysteries - A brand new series of articles by Nici, looking at ancient technology that confounds archaeologists and historians. 19th May 2003.
Mario Kart Double Dash Video Clip - Unveiled by Nintendo at E3. 19th May 2003.
Busiest Day Yet for 2atoms. Friday was very busy indeed with a tally of 385 unique visits to the site, our highest total since we started in March! 17th May 2003.
Magnetic North is the latest addition to Worst of the Web. A trendier, slicker, unfriendlier website you will not find... 16th May 2003.
Idiots Screw Up - More Idiots Fooled. Microsoft had planned an April Fool joke with a fake product announcement in the form of the I-Loo, that is, a toilet with internet access. The announcement via MSN, came in late April, which obviously lent the joke more credence. So it seems that more were fooled than originally planned. I mean come on people - one wall of the I-Loo was going to be transparent, could nobody see through this whole thing? Special Reserve fell for it hook, line and sinker... 15th May 2003.
GameBoy and GameCube Get Goodies. Nintendo of Japan unveil 2 new devices. Also, exclusive Metal Gear Solid game announced for GameCube. May 8th 2003.
alt.games.video.nintendo.gamecube. For over 20 years now, Usenet has been a means whereby people can post to and respond to others' views, electronically on a level playing field. This works wonderfully. There are 10s of thousands of newsgroups on every conceivable subject. However some corners of Usenet still seem to be akin to backward virtual villages, in the likes of which, daring to show one's face will elicit a "You're not from round here are you?" response at best. There is an almost infinite amount of crap on the Internet and between us we've seen it all (we should know, a lot of it is here at 2atoms). But without doubt the least desirable, the most spiritually-retarded, single place which is the antithesis of free speech is alt.games.video.nintendo.gamecube. May 7th 2003.
BBC Drop Nozzer Origin Hints. The BBC in their infinite wisdom have picked up on our Ruud van Nozzleboy fascination and are themselves, beginning to allude to the equine origins of the Man Utd workhorse. May 6th 2003.
Feedback page added to show your emails. Some fun to be had here... May 2nd 2003.
Spot the Difference? More obsession with the similarities between Ruud van Nistelrooy and the common horse. May 2nd 2003.
5,000th visitor for 2atoms.com! Even though the site is just 7 weeks old we have reached 5,000 unique visits. Thanks to everyone who has had an interest in the site, from those who merely pass through, to those who have offered moral and practical support. Alan Spring - you're top of the list - thanks mate ;) Thanks also go to Dev for finding stuff funny, Nici (A.K.A. Dingo) for her eternal love and understanding, not to mention the art and writing she does for us, and all who sent in corrections and dead link reports. Thanks even to those whose asinine comments have both entertained and infuriated. We love you all - it's all grist to the mill... 2atoms.com will surely grow into something splendid. After the revamp that is currently happening, 2atoms.com will spawn another site covering the harsher side of Comedy at www.cultofcrap.com. Even though 2atoms is a mere babe-in-arms, a lot of the ideas have been in utero for years if not decades. Sit back and enjoy the ride, things can only get better. May 1st 2003.
Xara 3D Heading Maker - Create stunning 3D headers. April 28th 2003.
Mario Kart: Double Dash Screenshots - See the latest incarnation of the greatest racing game ever. April 27th 2003.
The Young Grand Canyon - Growing up, it happens to us all. Yes even the universe was young once. We start a new series of cartoons entitled, "When They Were Young". April 25th 2003.
Taggart Gets Imperial
- "Oh aye I'm a great admirer of all
them Roman emperors", the alcoholic Manchester United manager tells
us. April 24th 2003.
Gamecube Mario Kart is ready say Nintendo! April 17th 2003.
Links added by the hundred. April 16th 2003.
Pavel Srneck - Pavel like, lady, picture, Internet! April 15th 2003.
Football is Lil' Miss Information's topic of enlightentment this week. April 15th 2003.
Save against Sheffield United. Was it the save of the century? Watch
it again and again.
April 14th 2003.
Search is back, courtesy of Google. April 13th 2003.
Dave and Kev - Honest Builders - Rough radio sketch ideas for a couple of new characters. April 11th 2003.
Car Wars sees the return of Vicky Flint Stupid Bint in today's Friday Cartoon. April 11th 2003.
The Internet is Lil' Miss Information's first in-depth study. April 9th 2003.
Saddam Hussein's Statue Toppled in Baghdad. See a video clip of this historic moment. April 9th 2003.
Bend Over Bin Laden - Play our latest fun Shockwave game. Frag the itinerant Al-qaeda leader for yourself! April 9th 2003.
Forum Opens - Express yourself on a number of different subjects, or just read the latest posts. A guaranteed "Troll Free Zone!" April 8th 2003.
Holzenkekse is the delicious new snack from 2 Atoms Industries, marketed by CultOfCrap. Have you tried them yet? All waste - no taste! April 8th 2003.
Punk Kittens - Surely you must have seen this animation by now? You haven't? April 8th 2003.
Movie Clips - A few bits of video to make you laff. March 21st 2003.
The Man With the Child in his Eyes - Friday cartoon. March 21st 2003.
Digital Photos Shared - Some random snaps. March 20th 2003.
Zelda: Wind Waker - Extensive preview of the latest Zelda adventure for Nintendo Gamecube with 3 video clips, and over 100 screenshots and pieces of artwork! March 19th 2003.
Sammy B's Interweb - Various outdated and unfunny crap about Osama bin Laden. March 19th 2003.
Your Mum Owes Me Money - Another local work of art reviewed. March 19th 2003.
100 Classic Gaming Links - A ton of top classic gaming sites! March 14th 2003.
Shall we go Dutch? - Friday cartoon. March 14th 2003.
2atoms Launches! - 3atoms is dead, long live 2atoms! March 13th 2003.
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