a medium quality clip (no audio) (c) BBC 2003 (Windows Media Player / 1,444
Watch a low quality, shorter clip (no audio) (c) BBC 2003 (Windows Media Player / 107 K).
Viz comic has accepted our first entry to the Profanisaurus (their unofficial slang and euphemism dictionary). This is as it appears in this month's Viz:
fanny turd n. A Child. 'Chocmonockly-Ffeatherstonehaugh. On February 17th, at the Portland Hospital. To Rupert and Rowenta (nee Ponfrit-Cake), a 6lb 8oz fanny turd Parkinson Cowan. A brother for Tefal. Dio Grasias.' from the The Times notices.
See the Viz website at viz.co.uk.
No, none. Nada, zilch, rien, nichts. You lot are fools ALL the time anyway. Ha ha April Fools! That was an April Fools joke really. See the Official 2atoms.com April Fools Joke 2003.
FeaturePrice (a.k.a. Hosting-Network) are without doubt the worst, the shoddiest, the dodgiest, the shadiest, the stupidest, unworthiest company, that I have ever had the misfortune to do business with. I could write this message on the moon in 100 mile high neon letters and it wouldn't begin to convey my utter contempt for this company... Read the full story.
Well, I found out today that my (and probably your) ISP NTL is amending its Acceptable Use Policy to effectively limit downloads to 1GB per 24hrs. WTF?! I was considering upgrading to the 1Mb service, which at full speed would see me over my limit after just 2 hours of downloading! Now, I'm no download junkie by any means, I'm more concerned with the slow upstream speed we have on NTL's 600Mb service. This however is taking the piss. The worst thing about dial-up was the fact that the technology broke up your browsing experience, with 2 hour time-outs and slow downloads. These factors stopped the Internet from seamlessly integrating into your life. Now, at the back of my mind every time I click on a link will be the thought, "Crap, how big is this file? How much is that today? 500Mb, I better watch what I download now." Rubbish NTL. Absolute rubbish. Broadband had just begun to pick up in the UK in the last few months, what with BT's ADSL coming down in price and up in coverage. NTL have their own monopoly in many parts of the country because of BT's slow rollout and high user thresholds. Tony Blair - so much for getting the country online, tell them not to bother. NTL, you are a pathetic, excuse for a company. Comment on this.
Time for a Tone Rant, there's something that needs to be said, and I'm gonna say it. I read today that everyone (particularly the American press, predictably) is making such a fuss about the space shuttle Columbia. MSN in particular mentioned "this terrible tragedy". With no disrespect to the dead and their families, I say this: For crying out loud! 7 people died, 7 people that knew the risks of space travel before they became astronauts. More than 7 people died on the UK's roads today. People that probably didn't want to take their lives into their hands, that just wanted to get from A to B. Do we hear a fuss being made about them? Every day thousands die of starvation. Every years tens of thousands of animals are used in pharmaceutical and medical research and experimentation. In 1945, in Hiroshima, 45,000 innocents died in a single moment, at American hands. I'm sorry, but that's what you call a "terrible tragedy"! This is more about the bigger loss to the US, 1 billion tax dollars, and people's propensity toward mass hysteria. Get over it people, put things into perspective. Comment on this.
We've added 'The Margaret Chronicles Part 1' and 'Stevens & Cox Can I Help You?' both original 2atoms.com productions over in SoundBytes, go there. Also, a new article in Comedy: Kandahar Biscuit Syndrome, read it.
I've moved a few bits and pieces around to make more sense in the contents, and wrapped all the funny stuff up into one section. Read it.
I don't know, this might become a regular feature. Here's some various crap that came through my letterbox today that made me laugh. Read it.
There are parts of the net that are so depraved, so mentalist and just so damn bad that we had to share the experience with you. Read it.
No seriously, I do need a job now. I'll do almost anything. Give Tone a job..
Audio fun, over in Comedy.
Michael Blount you will never, ever live this down. Crap website, over in Worst of the Web.
Today my web server went live and has been getting an average of 18 unique visits an hour. The address has been made available to a handful of people, so if you have access - enjoy it while you can, as it will be pulled at midnight Sunday 19th January 2003 promptly. I will use the stats to plan what I will add to 2atoms.com. Update: Server now down - thanks for all the visits.
A certain Dutch website, was caught today including a live file of ours without permission. Worst of all it was a cartoon drawn by Nici, so it is doubly insulting to have our bandwidth AND our work compromised! Well, next time he looks at this particular page he's in for a shock ;)
Our much beloved companion Chickens the cat has left this world. She died at the approximate age of 15 (we were never sure) of kidney failure on the last day of the year 2002. Her passing has left a massive hole in our lives. Peace be with her. Read her own page.