City Wrestling Federation.
24th September 2003
Steven Alexander Webb or SAW (geddit?) has his own wrestling federation. He wrestles with teenage boys in his bedroom and invariably beats them. He chronicles the long and glorious history of the CWF on his website:
Oh where to begin? There are some sites out there in the wilds of the worldwide web that are tender, touching little collections of personal ephemera. Kittens and grandmas. Till receipts from Walmart. Boring office party pictures and the like. I always feel a little pang of guilt upon setting out to enshrine a website here in our gallery of the inane. Morals - moi? Yes that's right, you know I'm sure some people don't deserve to have their websites slated like this. Ah well, away with you foul conscience and on with the critique. On to: the City Wrestling Federation!
As you will no doubt see for yourself the moment you click the link above, the CWF is RAW TO THE EXTREME!!! Or something. No fancy domain names for them, no it's Geocities free website for them, complete with annoying sidebar ads - HARDCORE! 'Written' by one Steven Alexander Webb (that's SAW to you and me), everything about this website is stuck in the late 1990s. The gratuitous use of animated GIFs, the font that takes up a quarter of your screen for each letter, the cheesy HARDCORE wrestling speak. But most of all, saddest of all, SAW's life. Let's read some important background information on the CWF:
|The UNOFFICIAL! World Wrestling Federation was introduced on May 20, 1996. I, Steven Webb, decided to make my own federation. The very first on camera (cam corder) event was WWF RULES 1996 on Saturday August 18, 1996. The first match ever was for the WWF Championship. (champion)Saw (me) VS. Brian Hell Nolfi. The match ended in a time limit draw. I was the first ever WWF Chmapion because, well, i bought the belt, and other people wanted it, so i just faught people for it, then got the idea to make a federation. Smart huh? :) Now.....the unofficial wwf has been changed to the CWF, so dont forget it! we changed it so our asses didnt get sued.|
Well there's no danger of your asses getting sued Steven, don't worry. Not even one of them. Even though you do seem to have misspent a large part of your young adult life getting sweaty with teenage boys in your bedroom (not sure what your local laws say about that SAW). This bloke seems to have forced every friend he's ever had, along with half of his family to join the CWF. In fact, not content with that, he has resorted to creating an alter-ego who goes by the name of The Dominator. On first appearances a brave, tall, proud warrior, The Dominator is in fact Steven in a Chicago Bulls shirt and what appears to be a flimsy plastic Star Wars mask. The thing that makes the CWF site so special is that they really seem to take themselves seriously, they even have a " How to order CWF Pay Per View " page! Wishful thinking in the extreme. Can you picture anyone wanting to pay to see aggressive, deluded young men and boys grappling with each other in a stinky bedroom? Yeah I thought that too. Best leave that question unanswered...
Many thanks to Blade who suggested this site for review. Please use the email link below to submit a worst website you've seen and we may choose to give it the full Worst of the Web treatment!