Satirical Interviews.
2atoms speaks to the world's shakers, makers, breakers and fakers

Interview with Jose Mourinho on a fruitful first campaign at Chelsea

19th May 2005

Champions league...But I wanted Champions League!

2atoms: Jose welcome to 2atoms.

JM: Sir.

2atoms: Sorry?

JM: Sir Jose to you.

2atoms: OK I do beg your pardon, Sir Jose...hang on a minute -

JM: Mr Sir Jose Mourinho actually.

2atoms: Yeah, whatever. First of all, you've won the Premiership and the Carling Cup in a remarkable first season at Chelsea. Did you ever expect it to go so well?

JM: Did I ever expect it to what? It was a terrible season, just terrible! That stupid man he make me sit in the seats and not with my friends. Then Daddy never give me enough money to buy er, players and I never get to win er, Champions League.

2atoms: Hang on a minute. He's given you about 220 million to spend on players.

JM: Yes but Champions League! Champions League, Champions League, Champions League! I want bloody Champions League!

[ Brief Pause ]

2atoms: Ahem. Yes, well you're understandably upset at losing to Liverpool in the Semi-Final but surely all-in-all you must be happy with what you've achieved this season?

JM: Champions League.

2atoms: OK well moving on now, how do you compare yourself the other top managers in the Premiership?

JM: Special one.

2atoms: Pardon?

JM: Special one. Daddy's special boy.

2atoms: Daddy? Oh you mean...

JM: Shhh! Don't speak his name. You are not worthy.

2atoms: It's Roman isn't it?

JM: Shh!

2atoms: You're talking about Roman Abramovich aren't you?

JM: He said it! He say the name! Only the Special One can say his name! Daddy, please forgive me, I tried to stop him!

2atoms: Mr, Sir Mourinho, Jose! Just one last question: there have been rumours linking you to the England manager's job, how would you respond to the challenge of leading England to victory at the next World Cup - surely the pinnacle of every truly great manager's career?

JM: Champions League!

CUT!!!

Previous ] Index Page ]