Dave and Kev - Honest Builders

11th April 2003

Can We Fix It? Can We Fuck! Dave the Builder, yesterday (c) Some poxy toy companyIntroducing a new, original series of sketches from These are all rough ideas. Inspiration for these two came from, well virtually every builder ever! I don't know if builders from other countries have the same reputation as they do here in Britain so these stereotypes may not hold true for you. Simply, the background is this:

Dave the Honest Builder - He Cannot Lie!

Dave Squires is a builder with a curse - he simply cannot lie as much as he might try. This leads to all sorts of hilarity as he rips customers off, invades their privacy and offends everyone he meets - all without trying!


Dave is finishing off various building/ decorating/ manual jobs, humming/ singing/ b*stardising popular songs. He calls the lady of the house in to admire his handywork (often as it begins to unravel/ collapse/ break down), and tells the customer how he has ripped them off/ pissed in their sink/ wanked in their lingerie draw/ sexually harassed their teenage daughter/ read their personal letters/ stolen food/ stolen valuables/ sexually compromised the family dog etc. etc. etc. He spills some paint/ rips some wallpaper, and swears explicitly, often in the presence of children and our elderly/ posh people. He then says "Just give us a few minutes here darling and I'll be out of yer hair", after which he carries on humming/ singing/ b*stardising the pop song. Fade out.


Dave is sometimes accompanied on jobs by Kev. Kev could be Irish. Or ginger, or both. Either way he is thick as crap. NB: Nothing to do with being Irish and/ or ginger you understand, just an unfortunate coincidence...

So each scenario requires at least one each of the following:

3.Pop song
4.Mishap and swearing
5.Admission of guilt

Each piece is 1 to 2 minutes long.

Dave and Kev Trial Sketch #1  (MP3 / 331K),
Dave and Kev Trial Sketch #2  (MP3 / 297K),
Dave and Kev Trial Sketch #3  (MP3 / 302K),
Dave and Kev Trial Sketch #4  (MP3 / 375K),
Dave and Kev Trial Sketch #5  (MP3 / 322K),
Dave and Kev Trial Sketch #6  (MP3 / 543K),
Dave and Kev Trial Sketch #7  (MP3 / 613K),
Dave and Kev Trial Sketch #8  (MP3 / 708K),
Dave and Kev Trial Sketch #9  (MP3 / 459K).

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