Dave and Kev - Honest Builders
11th April 2003
Introducing a new, original series of sketches from
2atoms.com. These are all rough ideas. Inspiration for these two came
from, well virtually every builder ever! I don't know if builders from
other countries have the same reputation as they do here in Britain so
these stereotypes may not hold true for you. Simply, the background is
Dave the Honest Builder - He Cannot Lie!
Dave Squires is a builder with a curse - he simply cannot lie as much
as he might try. This leads to all sorts of hilarity as he rips
customers off, invades their privacy and offends everyone he meets - all
Dave is finishing off various building/ decorating/ manual jobs,
humming/ singing/ b*stardising popular songs. He calls the lady of the
house in to admire his handywork (often as it begins to unravel/
collapse/ break down), and tells the customer how he has ripped them
off/ pissed in their sink/ wanked in their lingerie draw/ sexually
harassed their teenage daughter/ read their personal letters/ stolen
food/ stolen valuables/ sexually compromised the family dog etc. etc.
etc. He spills some paint/ rips some wallpaper, and swears explicitly,
often in the presence of children and our elderly/ posh people. He then
says "Just give us a few minutes here darling and I'll be out of
yer hair", after which he carries on humming/ singing/ b*stardising
the pop song. Fade out.
Dave is sometimes accompanied on jobs by Kev. Kev could be Irish. Or
ginger, or both. Either way he is thick as crap. NB: Nothing to do with
being Irish and/ or ginger you understand, just an unfortunate
So each scenario requires at least one each of the following:
4.Mishap and swearing
5.Admission of guilt
Each piece is 1 to 2 minutes long.
and Kev Trial Sketch #1 (MP3 / 331K),
and Kev Trial Sketch #2 (MP3 / 297K),
and Kev Trial Sketch #3 (MP3 / 302K),
and Kev Trial Sketch #4 (MP3 / 375K),
and Kev Trial Sketch #5 (MP3 / 322K),
and Kev Trial Sketch #6 (MP3 / 543K),
and Kev Trial Sketch #7 (MP3 / 613K),
and Kev Trial Sketch #8 (MP3 / 708K),
and Kev Trial Sketch #9 (MP3 / 459K).
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