Lil' Miss Information.
Misinformation. Factoids, true or untrue?
Hiya!? I'm Miss, Little Miss
Information. This week I'm gonna tell you all about Football, 'cos it's
like, really important yeah?
Lil’ Miss Information – Football
15th April 2003
Football is a game played by really clever blokes like David Beckenham.
When you score a goal it is called offside and everyone is sad.
When a man falls over is called a goal and everyone shouts 'cos they are
The best football team in the world is Tottenham, 'cos everybody here in
Stevenage says so.
My fella says Arsenal are crap 'cos they don't like Spurs - or something.
Playing football makes you thirsty that is why they have so many cups.
The best colour team is yellow, no blue.
Every year, all the countries in the world send one team to somewhere hot to
play in the World Cup Final. Last time, England sent Manchester United, but they
had to come home early because their captain called his manager a c*nt!
There are over 20 teams in the country, the best 3 play in a game called
Sometimes when the other 17 teams play crap, the 3 Premiership teams go on a
boat trip to Europe and get beat by crap European teams from places that sound
all funny like, Fladdy Fostock or something?!
A football pitch is bigger than 3 houses!
Over 2,000 people watch a football match!
The last time Manchester United won the World Cup was in 1969 because
everyone said the Germans didn't deserve it so they gave it to us.
Our Prime Minister in 1969 was Geoff Hurst.
The bestest player in the world is Rude Van Nestle Roy or something, and even
though he looks like a horse, he scores over 10 goals in every game!
It is illegal to kick a ball on Sunday, but not if you are in the air. That
is why on Sunday you can watch football in the Sky.
A football is round. Other shapes for football include: square (not good
because it hurts you), triangle (better because it rolls when you kick it very
hard) and egg shaped which is the best it looks like a bollock! Ha ha ha!
I like clothes.
I'm bored now.
Luv, Lil Miss Information
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