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The Country of Iraq, yesterday, today. (c) George W. Bush 2003

" Iraq Turns into Lump of Edam cheese "

6th April 2003, Doha, Qatar

A spokesman for the US military announced at a press conference in Doha, the Qatar capital, this morning that the whole of the country of Iraq had at around midnight, Saturday 5th April transmuted into a massive lump of cheese of Dutch origin, very likely Edam. We should bear in mind however that recent US military announcements regarding the invasion of Iraq have tended to be a little...untrue. On Thursday, the US foreign office issued a press release declaring that " Saddam Hussein Smells Exactly like 15 tons of rotten herring", which while arguable, was hardly a recent development, nor due in any part to American and British occupation of Iraq. On Tuesday, the opening of a McDonalds in downtown Basra was hailed as "A groundbreaking move to Western ideals" on the part of the Iraqi people. Nobody seemed to care that this was in fact complete and utter BS. More news as we receive it...

Tony Coleby, 2atoms News, London